Posted by: beaufortninja | May 21, 2013

An Awkward Misunderstanding

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The other day, my external speakers for my laptop stopped working so I went to Sunning, an electronics store similar to Best Buy which is close to my work. I walked in and browsed around until I found the speakers and compared prices for a while before one of the workers came by to see if he could help. I asked to try some and we did but they didn’t have the kind I was looking for. I prefer the speakers that you just plug into the USB slot and headphone jack. The performance isn’t that great but it’s easy and convenient.

Anyway, being aware that his English and my Chinese weren’t that great I just asked, “USB?” The simpler your sentences are the better.

His face contorted in confusion and anger. “What you say?”

His reaction caught me off guard and after a moment of thought I started laughing. He thought I said “You SB.”

In China, SB is internet slang meaning shǎbī, literally translated as ‘stupid cunt’. That explained his reaction and I wrote my actual meaning on my hand with my finger and he quickly turned red in the face from embarrassment. He apologized and found some speakers that I liked (ultimately decided not to buy them) and I could hear his colleagues making fun of him as I left. I then spent the remainder of the day learning vulgar Chinese phrases.

Posted by: beaufortninja | May 15, 2013

Convenient? You don’t even know the meaning of the word.

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Photo was taken from the welcome book at the Sheraton hotel in Huizhou.

Posted by: beaufortninja | May 8, 2013

Proof that Obama’s We the People Petitions are a Joke

I cruise around on the We the People site occasionally. I used to do it everyday but after seeing what kind of childish nonsense is allowed (building a Death Star and other idiocy) I quit entirely. My opinion wasn’t helped when the Obama administration raised the signature requirement from 25,000 to 100,000. This effectively made it pointless to even make a petition since the odds for getting that many names in only a month is slim for even the most widely supportive issues. This was done after a wave of popular petitions about legalizing gay marriage and marijuana, succession of states and stopping anti-gun control legislation. All of these petitions, which required responses from the White House, were roundly dismissed which leads me to ask why the site was created in the first place?

At any rate, I was bored at work and decided to check it out since there wasn’t anything better to do. What do I find? Well there’s a bunch of spam posts about white pride or something but then there’s this:

There is a petition, two actually, where as of this writing there are over 4,000 jackasses effectively calling for war with China by “liberating” Hong Kong and Chinese people. Hmmm… This kind of stuff is allowed to be taken seriously but a call to impeach Obama for ordering the ATF to sell guns to violent Mexican criminals to use on the border in order to further his anti-gun agenda (Operation Fast and Furious) gets shut down. Right.

See both of those insane petitions here:

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/send-troops-liberate-chinese-people/LL34gWvH
https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/send-troops-liberate-hong-kong/NmMypl7r

Posted by: beaufortninja | May 7, 2013

Fun in the Sun in Shenzhen

I’ve taken a long break from most travel after a disappointing trip to Huizhou (but we’re going to give it another shot soon) and having seen just about all of what Guangzhou has to offer after 2 previous visits and a year and a half of living here. But we jumped back into it with a May Day holiday trip to Shenzhen, a huge city about two hours away by train. My company gave me three days off so we put them to good use. The first day we went to an art district in Guangzhou that was pretty lame but I’ll get into that in another post. On the second day, we left early in the morning and arrived at the train station in Luohu, otherwise known as the gateway to Hong Kong.

A lot of people go on and on about Shenzhen but from what I saw it wasn’t all that. The city itself was massive and the buildings were modern-looking but there was construction work being done everywhere, you still need to buy paper tickets on the bus, the price of which varies by how far you’re going. In Guangzhou, you pay a flat rate no matter where you’re going. Also, in all the subway stations we were at, there weren’t enough ticket machines. We stood in line for ten minutes only to get to the front and notice that the machine only accepts coins. So we moved to the next line and saw that it only took 5RMB notes. And guess what I didn’t have? That’s right. 5RMB notes. Traveling around was a big hassle but we toughed it out to save money by not using taxis.

After over an hour on the bus we found ourselves in the outskirts of the city by the seashore. Our lodgings were in the Sheraton Dameisha Resort, an awesome 5-star hotel nestled in a little bay far from the city center and other than the bartender being MIA when I went for a drink one night, the service was excellent and the room was fantastic. We booked a deluxe room, because when I pamper myself I don’t mess around. I splurge. The bedroom had a massive king-sized bed that was unimaginably comfortable after 18 months of sleeping on a bed that felt like a slab of concrete and it also had a big flat screen TV with foreign and local channels. At night I hooked myself up with some Discovery and History channel and nerded out over the ‘World War II in Color” documentary series. The bedroom was connected to a balcony that overlooked the hotel’s pool and beach and had a fabulous view of the South China Sea. The bathroom was almost as big as the bedroom and had a tub big enough for three or four people. There was a shower and toilet in separate rooms, each with a weird glass door that left me feeling more than a little awkward when I was taking care of business. Other than the ridiculously overpriced mini-bar stuff (to be expected), everything about the room was topnotch.

The weather was unseasonably cool and gray clouds in the sky kept most of the hotel guests inside but Jen and I went to the beach where we played in the surf, experimented with the new camera and I made a sand castle which looked like a boob that coyote’s had been chewing on. I pride myself on my sand castle-building techniques and I’m pleased to say that it lasted the night. When I found it the next morning it looked like it had been blasted with a garden hose but the castle keep stood victorious against the unforgiving elements of nature. After a busy day of running around the hotel grounds and living it up, I gave my wife a swimming lesson at the indoor pool and hot tub which were also deserted. She claims to know how to swim a little but I don’t believe flailing your arms around as you cough up water counts as swimming so we started with the basics like treading water and the backstroke. After two hours of practice she could do a good enough job of not drowning horribly that I felt we could turn in for the night.

We awoke early the next morning to get breakfast where Jen asked directions for the day’s travel and I made small talk with the general manager of the hotel, a British guy who was very nice and helpful. The hotel offered a delicious breakfast of both Chinese and continental food along with fresh cut fruit in the hotel’s restaurant looking out across the beach. Before checkout at 12pm we took one last foray out to the beach where we laughed at the married couples trying to take wedding photos in the overcast weather. Different groups would jostle for the best position at the far side of the beach and the whole thing was just very funny to me. Poor people take photos in Shenzhen, Macau, and Hong Kong while rich people go to foreign countries. That seems to be the prevailing opinion among a lot of folks here anyway.
In the end, I was loath to leave the hotel so early and I’m looking forward to the day when I might get to return someday, despite the high price of around 2,200RMB a night. If you’re in Shenzhen then I highly recommend the Sheraton Dameisha Resort.

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