I carried this around school for about 2 months to beat the heat before I found out what it said. Apparently it’s an advertisement for vagina-tightening and hymen reconstructive surgery. Well now, that certainly explains why all the girls blush something fierce and the boys laugh hysterically. Awkward foreigner is awkward!
Crazy China: Sexually Suggestive Fan
Posted in China | Tags: about me, advertisement, awkward, China, chinese, comedy, crazy, culture, design, english, fan, funny, humor, image, images, inspiration, journal, language, life, lifestyle, living in china, musings, personal, photo, photography, photos, picture, places, sex, sexually suggestive, society, thoughts, tourism, travel
Douchebag of the Week: Spencer Angeltvedt
There’s a 99.9999999999999% chance you have no idea who this guy is but I think you should know about him anyway. Spence writes about animal abuse and climate-change and other issues along those lines which is fine and good. However, he’s a typical liberal in that if you don’t fully agree with whatever he says, he’ll attack you while claiming that he’s in the right. As you can see in the image below, I left a cordial comment merely pointing out some new research that has been stirring up some interesting debate. What is this guy’s first reaction? He calls me naive and then verbally abuses me, a guy who took time out of his busy day to read a site that had been recommended by a fellow blogger. There’s a word I’ve picked up in my time abroad for guys like that. Twat.
I can just picture this greasy twat staring at his computer screen, red in the face, furious that someone would dare question what he had written. I imagine the look of self-satisfaction as he writes up a crude and poorly structured retort, nit-picking a minor spelling error (actually a grammar error because it should have said “hasn’t”, also he didn’t capitalize “English” which is a proper noun.) and resorting to petty name-calling while at the same time saying that I was a child and belonged in elementary school (irony). He finishes hammering out his response and with a smirk, presses the enter button.
I commented on another post he did where he raged against Asian cultures where eating live animals is okay. Not only did he attack me for providing a reasonable viewpoint, but he also came across as a xenophobe. There was a real feeling of him trying to impose his “superior” white man’s culture against one of the oldest civilizations on the planet. So yeah, that made a lot of sense.
In regards to his accusations that my comment about global warming is untrue, here’s some supporting information with links in the off chance that Spence somehow reads this. I hope he does because it’s obvious that his idea of research is clicking the first few links off the initial search page of Google.
1. The polar bears are fine. There has been no mass extinction which climate alarmists were screaming about over the last few decades. Bear populations have remained steady in most places and drastically increased in several areas.
http://www.examiner.com/article/canada-s-growing-polar-bear-population-becoming-a-problem-locals-say
2. Climategate showed us that the global warming scientists are over-exaggerating the threat of climate change. Hackers stole emails and documents exposing doubts, manipulation and suppression of evidence, encouragement of violence and intimidation against skeptics, and attempts to disguise the truth. Most likely because studying climate change is a surefire way to rake in massive piles of grant money.
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/jamesdelingpole/100017393/climategate-the-final-nail-in-the-coffin-of-anthropogenic-global-warming/
3. Russian scientists at one of Russia’s most prestigious universities have determined that global warming is ending. But you’ll never hear that from mainstream Western news. http://german.ruvr.ru/2012_05_15/74737017/
4. There’s more sea ice than ever recorded which dispels claims that the northern and southern regions are melting away. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/04/11/bering_sea_ice_cover/
5. As evidence mounts that authorities are lying about the severity and consequences of climate change, climate skeptics and those who are unsure now outnumber believers by a wide margin.
http://joannenova.com.au/2011/02/new-poll-more-skeptics-than-ever-and-yet-the-carbon-tax-is-coming/
6. Heroes of climate change advocacy are beginning to abandon ship as more and more holes are poked into the theory. Among them is the famous Gaia Theory scientist.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/larrybell/2012/05/08/global-warming-chorus-discord-rising-to-feverish-pitch/
7. Also, 50 top astronauts, engineers and scientists with NASA signed a letter attacking the agency for promoting the man-made climate-change theory.
http://notrickszone.com/2012/04/10/50-top-astronauts-scientists-engineers-sign-letter-claiming-giss-is-turning-nasa-into-a-laughing-stock/
8. In addition, it’s been shown that climate skeptics know more about climate science than believers.
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/ready-study-climate-change-skeptics-know-more-about-science-than-believers/
9. But of course Spence wouldn’t want anyone to know about these things. He’s the quintessential Eco-Fascist who probably advocates the burning down of skeptics’ homes like infamous climate alarmist Steve Zwick.
http://www.prisonplanet.com/climate-alarmist-calls-for-burning-down-skeptics-homes.html
Hopefully as you can see, liberals like Spencer who claim to be championing their various causes are misled and are filled with a grandiose sense of self-importance, so much so that they feel the irresistible need to attack anyone with a differing opinion. And as can be expected, when faced with superior knowledge they resort to the age-old tactic of name-calling because they’re too weak to challenge their detractors any other way. People like Spencer are part of the cancer that’s killing the human race.
He earns the coveted Douchebag of the Week Award for misleading his readers, propagating disproved theories, being a lazy researcher, attacking a fellow blogger for having a valid point, and trying to correct an English teacher’s grammar while also using poor grammar. Add that to your sidebar.
Posted in blogging, Uncategorized | Tags: America, animals, asshole, blog, blogging, blogs, climate, climate change, climategate, crimes, culture, current affairs, current events, douchebag, engineers, english, gaia, gaia theory, global, global warming, hippie, history, inspiration, internet, journal, life, lifestyle, musings, NASA, nature, news, opinion, people, personal, polar bears, political, politics, research, russia, science, scientists, sea ice, series, social media, society, spencer angeltvedt, thoughts, treehugger, truth, UN, united nations, us, usa, weather, world, writing
I Don’t Smell, You Smell!
The other day my wife and I were going somewhere and decided to take the metro. When the train pulled up it was already crowded with people but the waiting crowd of commuters rushed forward like usual and smashed their way in. So there we all were, crammed into this metal tube. Nothing out of the ordinary about that.
However, one middle-aged woman decided to take issue with me. She was standing in front of me, turned up her nose and muttered, just loud enough for me to hear, “Mmm. Ho chow!”
“Ho chow” is a Cantonese word that means “smelly” or that something stinks.After she said that, she then tried to manuever somewhere farther away from me and in a less crowded part of the train. I was taken aback by her rudeness and made some subtle attempts to smell myself to see if I was indeed smelly. It was a hot day but I had remembered to put on deodorant and I honestly couldn’t smell anything bad. No one else appeared uncomfortable and my wife usually lets me know if I’m smelling not so fresh.
Unable to find the cause of being called smelly, I deduced that the woman just didn’t like foreigners. Foreigners in China have an ongoing stereotype of being stinky and I guessed it was being directed at me. No big deal. Her uppins were going to come soon.
The train stopped at the next station and the woman had to slide past me to get to the door. She brushed against me and I said in a loud voice, “Mmm! Nay ho chow!” (You stink!). She gave me a shocked expression and the others in the train looked surprised as well. It’s unusual for foreigners to understand and speak Cantonese and there were a few laughs had at the woman’s expense and she hurried away, embarrassed at the loss of face.
So, the point of the story is this: good guys win, bad guys lose. If someone is rude to me I’ll make them lose tons of face. And as the expats here (should) know, face is massively important in China.
Posted in China | Tags: abroad, asia, asian, cantonese, China, chinese, commute, culture, embarrassment, expat, face, foreigners, foreigners stink, Guangdong, Guangzhou, ho chow, journal, laowai, life, lifestyle, living, living in china, manners, metro, musings, odor, people, personal, places, rudeness, smelly, society, stink, stories, story, thoughts, tourism, transportation, travel, writing
Weird Internet: Ray Stevenson Fan
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I’m starting a new ongoing series that’ll be posted once a week, much like the Crazy China and Guangzhou in Black and White stuff. I’m always on the internet and I come across some weird stuff which I’d like to share with you. Enjoy the first post!
Ray Stevenson, if you don’t know him, has appeared in HBO’s hit TV series Rome as Titus Pullo and as Frank Castle in Punisher: Warzone. He was also in the totally underrated comedy The Other Guys as the Australian mercenary (I guess that’s what he was) and he’s amassed a devoted and possibly deranged fan base.
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